If Tolstoy said that, he obviously did not feel that he possessed sufficient reason to find out whether Jesus rose from the dead. Many people do no possess sufficient reason to find out whether Jesus rose from the dead. Mostly this is because of their own conceit and pride.
Ellen Myers in The "Conversion" of Leo Tolstoy states:
Tolstoy's Confession shows that he was in no way converted away from his own self, certainly not to the sovereign, transcendent ("other-than-self") Creator and Redeemer of the Bible whom he rejected with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength Instead, he was "converted" from periodical to full-time, singleminded dedication to his own self and its moral perfection by his own efforts In that self-willed "goodness" without the grace of God he could not but fail, and did fail. "All things work for harm to them that do not love God," a paraphrase of Romans 8:28, which is borne out by his unconverted later life.
When I sought to know Jesus, after a harrowing experience that culminated in my stating the reasons why I ought to know Him, Jesus appeared to me.
Many people have wandered into my acquaintance, whom I have forgotten; people who did not have a significant affect upon me. Actually, some people have said that they have met me and I did not remember them. There are people of whom I could say that I met, but there is no proof that we ever did meet. Like ships in the night, we were going our own ways.
The difference between my meeting Jesus and my meeting other people is my life changed as a result. Not only that, I received an assurance that I possess an abiding relationship. The emotion of joy was placed within me. That joy has never left since I met the resurrected Lord Jesus Christ.
Jesus rose from the dead. Those who meet the criteria that Lord Jesus Christ has for revealing Himself to them, enter into an abiding relationship with Him. The Bible states in numerous places that Lord Jesus searches the hearts of everyone to see whether they are acceptable to Him (Revelation 2:23; Romans 8:27; Hebrews 4:12-13)
The problem for everyone of us is that we can scoff at people saying that they have met the resurrected Lord Jesus Christ, but if we have not met Him ourselves, we are the ones who are the losers. Analogous to this is someone, who has access to the most powerful person in the land, stating his position and we scoff in disbelief. Why? Because we do not possess any access. In which case, we are the losers. Why be a loser when you can be a winner, unless you are a masochist and enjoy pain—but the agony that produces eternal wailing and gnashing of teeth is not something people are going to enjoy. Reality is always knocking at our door.
The Days Get Shorter Every Morning, As Life Shortens, There Is No Turning Back
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