I am terrified and I have never come out of the closet to anyone before.
When I was 13, sometimes I had thoughts that I should have been a girl. I was involved in all sorts of sexual activity. The problem was I did not know who I really was. I needed to find my own identity. Other people were putting ideas into my head. I was confused. But my physical body clearly stated who I was. Just the psychological issues were a bit of a problem. Actually, this problem took a number of years to sort out. I became a bi-sexual. Then I became a Christian.
Becoming a Christian had nothing to do with going to church or being born into a country and then being told that I was a Christian. Becoming a Christian was an issue about me establishing a relationship with the Lord God, Creator of the Universe and securing my rightful eternal destiny.
When I became a Christian, I developed a desire to be in the presence of God. People, who experience this presence of God, call this love. The feelings were wonderful. Whereas before I was a Christian, I knew plenty of people who did not understand love. They talked about it, but had no real idea what love might be. Deep within, they were all sad individuals. Just as I was a sad individual myself, although, you would not have thought so. Having mixed with perverted and twisted people who only have one thing on their mind and having been like that myself, unless I discovered the love of God, I would not have known how wonderful love really is.
Many people will give you advice--but do they experience the love of God? The fact is there are more perverted and twisted people today than what there was in bygone days. Why? Because the powers-that-be purposely feed immoral garbage through the media. People have no understanding of morality. Everything is about what is right for us when it comes to gender and perversion. Yet, we think this is freedom, when in fact it becomes bondage. Lust is confused for love. Relief from frustration is confused for joy and then peace, temporarily.
I actually chose not to be a homosexual before I became a Christian. Why? After being a part of that scene, I actually got sick of the perversion. The behavior did not seem natural, and the way some of them carry on, they are worse than bitching, catty women fighting among themselves.
Now that I am a Christian and my sense of morality has sharpened, I realize that I made the right decision beforehand. The most important thing is understanding that fulfillment in life is not found until we find the Everlasting Infinite God, who satisfies our inner needs and gives us more than what anything or anyone else could. When experience the continual love of God, what we may have thought was a big buzz we learn really was a fast fizz.
The choice is yours. If you make the wrong one, you will suffer. If you make the right one, you will begin to see the wisdom in doing so. Only when you decide what road you are going to travel. If you are seriously looking for the right way, just be wary of getting caught wasting time in the many side-roads along the way that are nothing but a maze of dead ends. If you choose the narrow road that leads to life, you will find that there will be many people trying to drag you back and numerous alternatives always seem to appear along the way. Nevertheless, the One who is mightier than all will help you,if you are genuine and truly want to know the truth and experience the joy of real life.
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